Analysts at Byrne's Pub have released the following reports:

STOCKS:   We're running low on Jagermeister. PBR is dangerously low. Who the hell forgot to order the Jameson's? Um, weren't there Guinness kegs here yesterday? Hey look, a case of "Billy Beer"!

BONDS:   He still looks pissed about not winning the World Series. Suck it up, Barry.

INTEREST RATES:   Interest in our questionable wit appears to be fading. We suggest you rent a Jeff Foxworthy video.

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